More pics may follow after I’m done eating.

I have a new favorite song (It changes a lot. Gotta feelin’ though that this one will be stuck in my head for a while.) Ladies and gentleman; I present to you Cee Lo Green and his hit song “Fuck you!”.

I was caught by the lyrics:

I guess the change in my pocket /
wasn’t enough /
I’m like ‘Fuck you! /
and uh ‘Fuck her tooooo” /
(Ooo ooo ooooo”) /

And this beauty:

Yeah I’m sorry I can’t afford a Ferrari /
But that don’t mean I can’t get you there /
I guess he’s an X-box and I’m more Atari /
But the way you play your game ain’t fair /

And this punch line:

I pity the fool /
that falls in love with you /
(oh shit she’s a gold digger) /
Well /
(just thought you should know nigga) /
Ooh /
I’ve got some news for you /
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend/

Just thought you should know nigga.

The movie we watched was Inception. We missed the first 5 minutes and spent the next 45 minutes trying to figure out what was going on. Really. It actually felt as if we had walked into the cinema an hour after the movie had started. None the less, it was a pretty decent movie.

Being an avid enthusiast of dining out, and also having been a waiter in my youth, I consider myself to have a tremendous amount of knowledge on tactics and manipulation to get a tip. One such tactic I consider to be a useless, and most often last and desperate attempt at getting one. It is those little scribbles on your bill. The little hearts and smiley faces. ‘Cause we all know that, even after receiving kak service, one’s heart will just melt at the sight of these and you’re probably gonna slap down a Blue Buffalo. (See sarcasm)

Now in the above mentioned thing, at House of Coffees, the service was not too bad. The cake was awesome as usual and the coffee… well it is House of Coffees. But when we asked for our bill, man I wasn’t prepared for what we saw. And I’m not talking about a horrendous bill. Well actually the bill was horrendous. It was disgusting. Downright nasty even.

Our Zimbabwean servant hoped that he could get a tip out of us by presenting us with some of his erotic art:

In Zim, customer service waiter.

What was he going for there? “Fuck you, come again”? “Do you wan to see my other services”? Really? WTF did he mean by the penis??!?!

What do you think?

Be warned… this is VERY nsfw. Do this preferably before you have had breakfast. Not that you will be able to stomach breakfast after this.

Good luck…

********

Very important note… what will be seen cannot be unseen. NSFW.

Go to Google. Type in “Blue Waffle”. Click on I’m feeling lucky.

God speed…

For dizzy*

…didn’t see it coming.

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!

Wow that is such a deep movie. The surrealism of it. The writing. The acting. All superb!

“My New Pink Button” is the beauty industry’s latest offering to women: a “genital cosmetic colorant” designed by a “certified paramedical esthetician” no less, which restores the youthful pink to labia tragically faded by age, childbirth, genetics or life.

Take back your pink!

You can choose from: “Bettie”, for that “sexy hot pink, I am fired up, look”; “Marilyn”, for beginners nervous about anything more than a “slight fresh colour change”; “Ginger’, “to bring forth a real rosy tone”; or daring “Audrey” – a “bold burgundy”.

Lather, rinse, repeat as necessary.

From: Let’s-save-her-the-shame (LSHTS).
Date: Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 2:27 PM
Subject: Fwd: application support administrator
To: “Juan @ Editor”

EPIC FAIL.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Recruiter
Date: Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 2:22 PM
Subject: RE: application support administrator
To: LSHTS

Hi LSHTS ,

Isis which is referred to in the spec is the company Altech Isis.

______________________________________
Recruiter
Cell: 123
Office: 123
Office: 123
Fax: 123

From: LSHTS [mailto:LSHTS @gmail.com]
Sent: 24 June 2010 02:18 PM
To: Recruiter
Subject: Re: application support administrator

Hi Recruiter ,

Thank you for contacting me about this opportunity. I’ve had a look at the job specification. Unfortunately, I do not have any experience on ISIS framework, and this seems to be the core function, so I do not think I would be suited to the role.

I wish you all the best in finding the ideal candidate.

Kind Regards,
LSHTS

On Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 8:38 AM, Recruiter wrote:
Hi LSHTS

Herewith the job spec we discussed earlier. Please read through it and let me know what you think.

Thanks so much

Kind Regards

______________________________________
Recruiter
Cell: 123
Office: 123
Office: 123
Fax: 123

Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!