The Don

Archive for October, 2009

Kakking myself…

by Juan on Oct.27, 2009, under Uncategorized

Well, hello to all of you… all THREE of you (Women have scales. Bloggers have Google Analytics. We both just call it “Fucking Liar”).

Now you might have noticed that I haven’t posted for a few days. The reason is that I was angry at YOU. Yes you, my followers and fans who are supposed to be loyal to me. You who were supposed to enter my giveaway. Do you KNOW what being loyal means?! Go Google it. No wait, I’ll GIVE you the link to the Google search for the word LOYALTY : http://www.google.co.za/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=loyalty&meta=&aq=f&oq=

You see. That’s how easy I make things. Easy for you my beloved reader. As easy as to GIVE you free CD’s. But you angered me, my babies. You hurt me. And when I’m upset, I give you the silent treatment. It’s for your own good really. Trust me; I know what’s good for you.

(I’ve forgiven you now. I don’t like grudges.)

I went climbing outdoors for the first time on Saturday at “The Mine’s” just below Silvermine nature reserve. I was a bit nervous throughout the week that lead* up to it (the thought of bailing crossed my mind quite a bit). Once I started, I rather enjoyed myself. It’s almost nothing like climbing indoors.

At some point during my climb, I was on a nice flat ledge which I could stand on with both my feet. So I took a break to rest my arms and… then turned around to take in the view. BIIIIIG mistake. The crags aren’t THAT high up (well not the one I did at least) but because it is already a bit of a walk up the mountain to reach the crags, when you look back while climbing, you see the whole fucking False Bay below you. “OMG, I am going to fall off this god damn wall, the piece of shit bolt will snap under my huge fucking ass and I am going to die” was more or less what I said to myself. If I wasn’t as dehydrated from hauling my ass up the mountain, I would have surely pissed myself.   It took me a minute or two to regain my composure and the use of my body, but I made it up. I just couldn’t reach the last metre** of that crag, but I felt it was good enough for my first outdoors attempt***.

DSC00556

Kakking myself...

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Ed’s notes:

* “lead” -  there’s a pun in there somewhere…but since I DO hold grudges, I’m not going to point it out for anyone.

** It was half a metre really. Actually, from where I was standing, it seemed like 5 cms. You just needed to stand on your tippy toes and you would’ve been there.

*** Hmmf. Next time, I’ll belay.

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The Impossible Cool – Boer Style

by Juan on Oct.20, 2009, under Uncategorized

459px-Afrikaner_Commandos2

Your typical Boer commando.

When I saw this photo, it just SCREAMED: Bad Ass!! Did you know that the casualty count for the Imperial Forces* during the Boer War was 97000+? Take a guess as to what the Boer casualty count was**… less than 10000***.

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Ed’s notes:

* I had to google “Imperial Forces” by the way.  For SOME of us, high school history was a looong time ago. In fact, I’m quite sure the subject is not even called “History” anymore. Anyway, so 298,000 results from good old google; but I’m guessing that Imperial, the car rental place, is NOT what you were referring to. The search continues…*must use filters mustusefilters*

** Less than 10,000?

*** Would you look at that – i was right!

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And our winner of the giveaway is….. penisenlargmentpills@hotmail.co.uk

by Juan on Oct.16, 2009, under Uncategorized

So the deadline has closed for the DMB CD giveaway, and guess what. Not one entry for the give away! Not one! If any of you had just said “boy Juan is a great guy”, you would now have been the owner of Two CD’s….. mahala!

 

Really people?! Not even one entry?!?! The closest I had was a spam comment :

 

“Wow, you are so right! But what do you think about these issues: purchase valium no prescription, 8-[, propecia no prescription, %-DDD, buy cialis professional, %-D, phentermine without prescription, =-))), purchase tramadol no prescription, 17267,”

 

So to the Spam-Bot who spammed my website, step forward and collect your prize.

Which reminds me of a xkcd strip from a few weeks back:

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